traveling articles

what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong
thing.

Then something awful happened to me….

I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fears
came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range
of people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang of
it. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do the same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that the purpose of small talk is not to
exchange information.

It is a game you play to find things you have in common with the
other person.

Decide to be intensely curious about the other person and
go fishing for what you have in common. When you are
genuinely interested in other people they will respond
positively to your questions and to the way you listen to
what they have to say.

When you take the pressure off yourself to be a great
conversationalist and become a detective searching for
commonality the conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why?

Because people like people that are like them.

The more commonality you discover, the more the other
person will like you and feel as if they have known you
for some time.

This in turn causes the conversation to flow.

2. Give first to encourage sharing.

If all you do is ask questions the other person will feel
as if they are being interrogated.

That is not the idea!

Be prepared to reveal something about yourself first
without getting too personal.

By sharing first you are leading the way and cause the
other person to feel obligated to return the favor.

Sharing and receiving in this way allows you to take charge
of any conversation and to easily lead it where you want to
go.

3. Aim to control the conversation.

If you can lead a conversation you can control it. You now
know how to lead any conversation - give first and watch
the other person respond.

Most people will follow your lead right away. If the person
does not just move on to someone else.

Never shoot for 100% with people as its not a realistic
goal. Life does not work like that.

And remember…

The key to success with these distinctions is to use them, play
with them and then adjust them to suit you.

For the sake of 10-15 minutes a day, every day, you can
progressively get better and better at making conversation.

Its not rocket science. Its just a matter of strategy -
knowing it and using it.]]>

by Pete Grand
  
The secrets of our body language have been around forever yet people constantly fail to recognize the importance of using body language to their advantage. Did you know that people only pay attention to 7% of what we say? Where does the rest of their attention go? You guessed it right: our body language. Now let me give my 7 BLT’s so that you can use your body language much more efficiently when interacting with people.
 
1- Always look at someone directly in their eyes when they are speaking to you. This may seem difficult at first but it’s definitely the #1 body language ingredient to make you successful when interacting with others. Note: Do not ever stare at someone.  

2- Always stand up straight. You never want to slouch. Not only does this make you appear shorter but it projects an image of someone who has low self-esteem.
 
3- Smile. Smiling is your most powerful body language signal. Though it is not recommended to smile constantly (people will be under the impression you are searching for approval), you should still make an effort to appear happy and optimistic.
 
4- Do not make repeated, nervous like gestures. When speaking to someone it’s important to use body movements but never fast and repetitive ones (picture someone who is nervous while public speaking; this is exactly what you’re NOT aiming for).  

5- Create your own personal space. Make sure you let others know you have your own personal space and do not let them walk all over you. Note: you never want to invade someone else’s personal space.  

6- Dedicate all of your attention to the person you are speaking with. Do not constantly look around as if you are uncomfortable or not interested.
 
7- Make sure to emphasize all of these tips when you meet someone new. First impressions count for a lot. You want to make the best impression you can.
 
Most people are unaware of the way they are projecting themselves because in general, people will detect body language signals subconsciously. Make an effort to apply all seven of these tips and people will react differently when you are speaking to them.]]>

I always strive to be the best in all of my endeavors. I longed to be great from a very young age. Greatness is something that you must feverishly dedicate yourself to in order to acquire it. Hard works, discipline, dedication, are only a few things that can bring you to the plateau of greatness.

By the time you finish this article you will no longer be afraid of greatness. You are great. In fact, you are about to embark upon your own greatness in a miraculous way.

William Shakespeare once said, “Be not afraid of greatness; some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.” I agree with most of his statement. Simply because I do not believe people are born great. However, I agree with every other aspect of his quote.

I want to look at three great living legends. They are the epitome of greatness. We can learn to implement the disciplinary strategies of three great legends to achieve our own individual greatness.

In the Eye of the G.O.A.T

“When you’re as great as I am, it is hard to be humble.” Muhammad Ali

From the very first moment of seeing him dancing in the ring beating upon his opponent Ali became my idol. He defied the way a heavyweight moved, danced, and fought. He brought big bucks to the sport of boxing. His various abilities transcended the boxing ring.

Ali’s greatness elevated him to majestic heights when he fought the United States government. After refusing induction into the armed forces his title stripped, facing possible jail time, Ali stood firm in his religious beliefs and came up victorious in the battle of his life.

Many did not care for his flamboyant ways and braggadocios shenanigans. Anyone who could call the round he would drop an opponent is a bad man in my book. I mean that is the exclamation point of greatness.

He was born Cassius Marcellus Clay on Jan. 18, 1942, in Louisville, KY. His boxing career started at the age of twelve, after having his bike stolen at the Columbia Auditorium. He approached a cop named Joe Martin proclaiming he was gonna whup whoever stole his bike.

Joe Martin admonished him “you better learn to box first” and the rest is history. Ali proclaimed I am the greatest. G.O.A.T is the acronym for the Greatest of all time. Despite his latest battle with Parkinson’s disease, Ali can teach us all to be warriors.

Here are 3 tips of Ali that will catapult you to become great.

1.Dedication to hard work with an ability to outwork others.

2.Be your own publicist. Make sure to toot your own horn.

3.Stand strong in the face of any adversity.

In the Eye of a Tiger

Eldrick Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer of all times. He is an icon of the sport. The twenty eight year old has won 53 tournaments, 40 of those on the PGA tour, including the 1997,2001 and 2002 Masters Tournaments. Woods holds the title of career victories leader among active players on the PGA Tour.

He holds so many records in golf that I refuse to write them all down. Tiger Woods has proven himself the greatest golfer of all times.

Here are 3 tips of Tiger that will catapult you to become greater.

1.Dedication to greatness. “I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great.” Ray Charles

2.Concentrated focus. Keep focused at all times upon your goals and plans.

3.Keep a positive mindset and never let them see you sweat

In the Eye of Air Jordan

Michael Jordan is a basketball icon. When he came into the league people knew that he was a good player. I just do not think people realized how great he would become. I think the Chicago Bulls did not even realize this. Remember the slam-dunk contest between Jordan and Dominique Wilkens. Whoa!

Basketball legend Larry Bird once said “It’s just God disguised as Michael Jordan.” On Feb. 17, 1963 Michael Jordan was born in Brooklyn, NY. He played 11 full seasons with the Chicago Bulls, led the league in scoring a record 10 times, and in 1986-87 became the only player besides Wilt Chamberlain to score more than 3,000 points in a season, getting 3,041. His 31.5 scoring average is the highest in NBA history.

Jordan’s performance on the court opened the floodgates of endorsements from Wheaties, Gatorade, Hanes, McDonald’s, Warner Brothers, and Nike. His Air Jordan sneaker made Nike catapulted Nike’s growth. Michael’s talent made him multi-millions. He is the greatest player whoever played the sport.

Here are 3 Tips of Jordan that will catapult you to be the greatest.

1. Jordan has G.A.M.E. Greater Achievement Mentality Excel-eration. Never settle or become comfortable in your achievements in life. Always push yourself to be greater at what you do. Always set greater goals for yourself.

2. Refusal to Quit. Never quit keep fighting to go the distance.

3. Perfecting perfection. Always try improving every aspect of your game. Work on perfecting each of your talents and gifts. Practice makes perfect. Perfecting perfection means that no matter how good it looks or feels it can always get better.

Greatness is in your walk, talk, and mind. Strive towards being the greatest. I expect nothing less from you than greatness. You are great!]]>

Five Massive Reasons Why
You Should Be Dating Online!”

Announcing five massive reasons why single men should use online dating!

How to meet more women than you could possible have time to date.

Let’s look at the reasons…

Massive Reason #1. Convenience!

From the comfort and privacy of your own home you can relax with a cup of tea or coffee, and scroll through an assortment of potential women to meet and date!

You can even have a beer or a glass of wine while doing it…

Instead of late nights in smoky bars and going home disappointed…and then wake up smelling like an ashtray.

I don’t enjoy unhealthy, smoky bars and drunks don’t interest me. Then there’s the loud thumping music where you have to shout at each other to be heard.

Where at home and in your own time, you can go online and pick a suitable profile to email and organize to meet.

I love doing this.

So for pure convenience and ease, online dating is the number one place for meeting women!

Online dating is a major breakthrough for single men.

You can meet women you wouldn’t otherwise ever have the opportunity to meet!

Therefore it creates an even playing field for men who don’t enjoy trying to ‘pull’ [meet and seduce] women in bars.

By learning some basic skills and getting experience, any man can succeed online.

Massive Reason #2. Not Having To Face Rejection by Approaching Women Cold!

This is a major bonus for guys who are recently divorced, split up and have lost their confidence and experience with meeting women.

It is the best way to ease back into the dating scene…

You don’t have to boldly approach a woman in public and get her number for a date.

You do it online via email, with no nervousness to deal with at all.

And if you contact a profile and she ignores your email, so what?

You just move on to another until you find one to meet, easy!

Therefore you are not confronted with your fear of being rejected in public, with online dating.

And if you do get ignored or knocked back, no one knows but you and it doesn’t MATTER.

There are plenty more to choose from…

And by the time you meet, you’ve already chatted via email and on the phone so there is no need to be nervous when you meet her for coffee.

Massive Reason #3. Confidence Building!

You gain confidence by meeting women online and having success with seduction.

This is a great benefit.

When I divorced after nine years I was nervous approaching women and had little success.

Once I had been online dating for six months I was back on my feet with women.

I now have the belief and confidence to approach and meet women everywhere.

I also have more skill at handling cold women and rejection when it happens.

Because I’ve learnt that it’s impossible to succeed 100% of the time.

Every No means you are closer to a Yes.

So if you are not getting rejected, you aren’t in the game!

You HAVE to be in the game!

The confidence you get meeting and seducing women online will enable you to meet the perfect lady for you. Whether that is online or offline. It’s getting the experience that is important.

As Tony Robbins would say, ‘Repetition is the mother of skill.’ :-]

Massive Reason #4. The Infinite Amount of Suitable Women!

It truly is an infinite amount of women available online to meet.

By having such a large pool of single women to contact, there is no need to ever be short of at least one date a week.

It’s just a case of being organized and only contacting local women to make the most of your time.

There will be anything from two to thirty two different sites in your region to join and check out profiles.

There is also many NEW women joining everyday…this will continue forever!

So it’s a must for single men to get good at online dating.

You can never run out of women to contact. Even if you exhaust one service you can try another. By the time you’ve gone through all suitable profiles to meet on the other service, the original one will have new stock! :-]

Online dating is also very affordable!

Massive Reason #5. Ease of Finding Suitable Partners!

By creating your own criteria and sticking to it, you can find someone suitable so much quicker than offline.

That is of course if they are honest in their profile…

[Which sometimes they aren’t.] :-]

This saves you a lot of time and money by having criteria.

For example, I don’t date women with children.

Which is hard in my age group.

But dating women with kids will never work out for me, so I just have to stick with my criteria.

I also don’t date smokers anymore…

So the more experience and confidence you get. The more definitive your criteria become.

By narrowing my criteria I have meet some great ladies a lot quicker than if I had just dated anyone who would go out with me.

Also when you approach someone in a bar you know nothing about them.

Online you get to know a reasonable amount before you make contact.

This really does increase your odds of meeting suitable partners.

I love online dating…I much prefer it to bars as an alternative.

It’s paved the way for me to be comfortable when I am single. Because I know there is a LOT of suitable women online and I’ll be back dating a nice lady sometime soon….

All the best to you…
Regards
Mick Jones
Author
http://www.howtomeetwomenontheinternet.com]]>

#1 - Playing Games:

When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection. This is human nature. So playing it cool and not getting too involved with others makes us feel safe. Only problem with this is you may come off as being cold and aloof. For many people this is a real turn off. And you may find the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to find a loving relationship is to be real. People will be far more receptive to you if they believe you are genuine.

An other game people play is the “manipulation” game. Doing things like telling someone you “love them” or you’ll “call them” just to have them sleep with you. Then once the deed is done they never hear from you again. This is one of the most cruel forms of manipulation and it must be considered unacceptable in the dating world.

Understand that it is O.K. to be a bit cautious. But you still must be brave and show the real you. Only then will you be able to have a trusting, loving relationship with the date of your dreams.

#2 - Moving to Fast:

Ladies this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future and the man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But, do you find yourself testing out his last name with yours and you haven’t even gone out on a third date yet? Well, if you do it’s time to remind yourself to Slow Down. Here’s why. Normally for the first 3-8 months of a relationship we are running on euphoria. You know that “head over heels” or that “swept off your feet” kind of feeling that comes with falling in love? Well, there’s an actual reason why this occurres. It’s from a chemical in our body called oxytocin. Basically, this chemical takes over our brain and it interferes with our ability to think clearly. So, until you’ve had time to get to know a person, and spend time with him to see what he is really like, it’s best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your expectations become to high you may find yourself heading down the path of heartache, and losing the date of your dreams. Slow Down!

#3 - Are you always talking about your ex?

Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous. Sure we’ve all had previous relationships, and yes your new love will find out about them. But, if you are constantly complaining about your ex, or always comparing your current love to your ex, it will get real old, real fast.

Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give yourself the opportunity for a new start. Try to work out any old problems before you start up a new relationship. This way you won’t allow the old baggage to cloud your judgment and affect your actions with your new love. Always talking about your ex may have you losing the date of your dreams.

#4 - Red Flags:

What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty more. - Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn’t show up and has no reasonable explanation as to why. - Someone your involved with will not give you their home phone number. - He/she will not introduce you to family or friends. - He/she won’t go out in public with you.- Being cruel to a pet. - Being disrespectful to a parent. Yes, all of these are Red Flags. And, Red Flags should not be ignored.

While you should not jump to conclusions about anyone unless you have sufficient evidence that something maybe wrong. If you do feel there is a problem you will need to confront this person and ask for an explanation. If you do not get an acceptable explanation and the situation continues to occur then you need to move on. You do not want to waste your valuable time on a relationship that is doomed to fail.

#5 - Thinking Obsessively:

Are you a worrier? If so, don’t let it ruin your relationship with the date of your dreams. Many people will worry over a relationship, even before it has a chance to really get going. You’ll worry over what he/she said, or what your response was to something said. You’ll worry over whether the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether the relationship is working at all. And, what will your friends think, your family think and so on. You need to understand that this sort of obsessive behavior is a real relationship killer. Try to build some self-confidence and trust that the relationship will work. And at a pace which is perfect for the both of you.

#6 - The Interrogation:

Do you want to know every detail of someone’s life, and try to get it out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can’t, not on the first or even the second date. If you come off as “The Interrogator” your new dream date will soon become tired of answering all your questions and move on to someone else. How many kids do you want to have? is not a good opening line on a first date. Just relax, let things happen naturally through simple conversation. Soon you’ll know all there is to know about you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with you new date.

#7 - What about your needs?

Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her you want kids or are you just going along with his/her idea of life? You must be able to directly communicate your needs. If you don’t you will spend your time in a relationship without having your needs met. You need to know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are before starting a serious relationship. When talking about your needs be assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding. But, tactful and direct. And, if the two of you can not agree on meeting each other’s needs, (what ever they maybe) then it is time to re-evaluate the relationship. In any relationship whether it be personal or business the needs of all parties involved must be met.

#8 - Sacrificing too much:

Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care that you would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself be used as a “doormat”? Usually this sort of behavior is associated with low self-esteem. Please realize that in any healthy relationship both parties must be treated as equals. And both parties must have their needs met. If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship, and if your are not happy get out. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are, without you having to jump through hoops to prove it.

Good Luck!

Marie Clare.]]>

““““““““““““““““““““““““““`
By Danni R., CMA, CCMA, CMAA, FLWD

People interested in a medical assistant or similar related career often are unsure of what to look for in vocational training institutions and what they should expect from the program they choose.

It is highly recommended that those who seek formal training opt for accredited training programs that meet the clearly defined and strictly upheld criteria of one of the regional or national accreditors. Finding out whether a school or online course and their programs are accredited is an important step in determining whether the education provided will meet all learning goals and is truly worth the time and money.

WHAT IS ACCREDITATION?
““““““““““““““““““““`
In the United States most accreditations are granted by the government, approved state agencies, or organizations, and associations that rely on a variety of advisory groups in their continuous effort to improve the safety and quality of education and training provided to the public. In addition, most states have some means of approving or certifying the operation of independent and other nonpublic schools.

The U.S. Department of Education and the Council for Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA) are accreditors for postsecondary programs, the Commission on Accreditation of Allied Health Education Programs (CAAHEP) is the largest specialized accreditor in the health sciences field, the Accrediting Bureau of Health Education Schools (ABHES) accredits private postsecondary institutions and programs preparing individuals for entry into the medical assisting profession, and the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO) strives to continuously improve the safety and quality of care provided to the public through the provision of health care accreditation and related services that support performance improvement in health care organizations.

Graduates of postsecondary medical assisting programs accredited by CAAHEP or ABHES are immediately eligible to take AAMA’s Certified Medical Assistant (CMA) certification exam. Graduates from ABHES accredited medical assisting programs are also immediately eligible to take the RMA examination offered by the American Medical Technologists (AMT). Both CAAHEP and ABHES publish a list of their accredited programs.

Accreditation for different level public and private educational institutions, colleges, universities, graduate schools in the United States is divided into geographical areas. These are the regional accreditation bodies:

(1) Middle States Association of Colleges and Schools (MSA)
(2) New England Association of Schools and Colleges (NEASC)
(3) North Central Association of Colleges and Schools (NASC)
(4) Southern Association of Colleges and Schools (SACS)
(5) Northwest Association of Schools and Colleges (NASC)
(6) Western Association of Schools and Colleges (WASC)

Important is that those seeking medical assistant training should not overlook that an accredited versus a legitimate institution does not always mean the same thing! There is a plethora of different accreditations offered in the United States covering all imaginable areas of vocational and higher education. Some institutions claiming these accreditations are not necessarily always legitimate. Only fully accredited institutions have the above listed accreditations.

A WORD OF CAUTION ABOUT ONLINE TRAINING!
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Distance education over the Internet provides e-learners with the convenience, flexibility, and the ability to study anywhere, any time without being on campus. However, taking courses online doesn’t always mean that the program they have chosen is accredited or legit and sometimes, if not careful, the diploma they receive is not even worth the paper it is printed on.

Online training providers, non-traditional universities, and colleges who offer virtual and distance learning programs have different accreditation standards and it is important to recognize the difference between legitimate and fully accredited vs. illegitimate and non-accredited ones before signing up for such courses.

The Internet is known for their many different types of scams. To ensure that you don’t waste your time or money, medical assistant students should choose only institutions that have full accreditation!

In closing, one final word of caution: training programs, especially those offered on the Internet, that use words such as approved, accredited, accreditation pending, authorized, chartered, empowered, licensed, recognized, registered, or any other profound sounding designation are not always legitimately accredited. Be aware of these common phrases!

HELPFUL LINKS
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http://www.medicalassistant.net/accred_programs.htm#helpfullinks

SYNDICATION
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Advanced Medical Assistant of America - Copyright © 2004 Danni R. - All rights reserved. Article reprints and syndication to selected web sites upon request. Article must be complete and must include all contact information.]]>

In life, we encountered a lot of up and downs. But it is nevertheless, through all these problems and obstacles that we learn to stand up on our feet times and times again despite the falls we had, that made us what we are today. If life were to be so smooth for us, we wouldn’t have grown and learn to truly appreciate it. The same goes for love; if a relationship is ever so sweet and smooth, we wouldn’t have learn to really appreciate and cherish the love that is between ourselves and our love. It is through the overcoming of all those quarrels and problems, surviving them through together that we truly know that we deeply cherish the love that is between both, strengthening the relationship more than ever.

Be glad that there is quarrel between both. It actually means that the both have developed another step further in your relationship. It is only when one is closer to you that a quarrel will then actually happen. I don’t suppose you will pick up a quarrel with your partner whom you just started dating? You be just trying all out to please him or her instead, wouldn’t you?

But do however treat each and every quarrel seriously, especially when the both of you have just started. This is the time for you and your partner to further understand each other more deeply, the time for you to reflect on yourself and honestly think about the relationship. This is the time for the relationship to be tested. A test of your love for one another; whether this relationship is strong enough to withstand any thunderstorm there may be. Well, a survival never fails to further strengthen the relationship, truly cherishing each other ever more.

Avoid unnecessary reasoning at the point of a quarrel. Most of the times it will only make things worse, wait till both have cooled down. At the end of the day, always make an effort to find out what actually went wrong. Is it your fault? Talk to each other nicely, share your unhappiness; let your partner know how you felt. A softer tone is always more calming and pleasing to the ears. Your partner will usually be willing to listen and to share his or her feelings with you too. Sometimes it is out of too much care for one another that unwillingly trigger off a quarrel between both?

Remember, nobody wanted any quarrel. If you are at fault, please don’t be a stubborn donkey, you jolly well apologize and seek for your partner’s forgiveness. A word of sorry isn’t really that hard to say out? There is nothing ashamed to feel of, especially when with your love? Admit your fault, a sincere apology would always be pleasing to the ears; most of the time, harmony it will bring. Nonetheless, if your partner were to apologize to you, you graciously accept it. Why start another quarrel when you could end it? Well, there shouldn’t be any overnight grudges between couples.

Give each other a good hug. “I love you dear, I am really so sorry to have hurt you, please forgive me…” Now isn’t that such a sweet ending? It is usually through so that you understand each other better, cherishing each other even dearly. Remember, love is a two-way communication. It takes two happy persons, a happy you and your love to complete the equation.]]>

1. Build others’ self-esteem.

2. Show empathy for others.

3. Encourage people to cooperate with each other.

4. Communicate assertively.

5. Ask productive questions and demonstrate listening skills.

6. Respond productively to emotional statements.

People skills (which are also known as emotional intelligence) can be thought of as six specific skills. Let’s take a brief look at each one.

1. Build others’ self-esteem. When you are in a situation where you are made to feel good about yourself, you feel good. You can do the same with others by doing the following kinds of things:

a. Make eye contact with others.

b. Call others by their names.

c. Ask others their opinions.

d. Compliment others’ work.

e. Tell people how much you appreciate them.

f. Write notes of thanks when someone does something worthwhile.

g. Make people feel welcome when they come to your home or workplace.

h. Pay attention to what is going on in people’s lives. Acknowledge milestones and express concern about difficult life situations such as illness, deaths, and accidents.

i. Introduce your family members to acquaintances when you meet them in public.

j. Encourage your loved ones to explore their talents and interests.

k. Share people’s excitement when they accomplish something.

l. Honor people’s needs and wants.

m. Take responsibility for your choices and actions, and expect others to do the same.

n. Take responsibility for the quality of your communications.

2. Show empathy for others. Empathy means recognizing emotions in others. It is the capacity to put yourself in another person’s shoes and understand how they view their reality and how they feel about things.

Being aware of our emotions and how they affect our actions is a fundamental ability in today’s people-intense workplaces. People who are cut off from their emotions are unable to connect with people. It’s like they are emotionally tone-deaf.

No one wants to work with such people because they have no idea how they affect others. You have probably met a few people who fit this description.

3. Encourage people to cooperate with each other. Whether you are managing a family or a work group, there are some specific things you can do to create an environment where others work together well:

a. Don’t play favorites. Treat everyone the same. Otherwise, some people will not trust you.

b. Don’t talk about people behind their backs.

c. Ask for others’ ideas. Participation increases commitment.

d. Follow up on suggestions, requests, and comments, even if you are unable to carry out a request.

e. Check for understanding when you make a statement or announcement. Don’t assume everyone is with you.

f. Make sure people have clear instructions for tasks to be completed. Ask people to describe what they plan to do.

g. Reinforce cooperative behavior. Don’t take it for granted.

4. Communicate assertively. Assertive communication is a constructive way of expressing feelings and opinions. People are not born assertive; their behavior is a combination of learned skills. Assertive behavior enables you to:

a. Act in your own best interests.

b. Stand up for yourself without becoming anxious.

c. Express your honest feelings.

d. Assert your personal rights without denying the rights of others.

Assertive behavior is different from passive or aggressive behavior in that it is:

a. Self-expressive

b. Honest

c. Direct

d. Self-enhancing

e. Constructive, not destructive

Assertive behavior includes both what you say and how you say it.

5. Ask productive questions and demonstrate listening skills. Listening skills help you show that you are hearing and understanding another person and are interested in what he or she has to say.

6. Respond productively to emotional statements. A communication skill called active listening is especially useful in emotional situations because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what the other person is saying and how he or she is feeling about it. Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. It’s a check of whether your understanding is correct. This demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned.

Active listening responses have two components:

a. Naming the feeling that the other person is conveying

b. Stating the reason for the feeling

Here are some examples of active listening statements:

“Sounds like you’re upset about what happened at work.”

“You’re annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”

“You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem.”

“It makes you angry when you find errors on Joe’s paperwork.”

“Sounds like you’re really worried about Wendy.”

“I get the feeling you’re awfully busy right now.”

Actively listening is not the same as agreement. It is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another’s point of view.

The ability to get along well with people in your personal relationships and in the workplace is a set of learned skills. No one is born knowing how to build others’ self-esteem, show empathy, encourage cooperation, communicate assertively, ask productive questions, or respond productively to emotional statements. These skills can be learned and developed with some practice. By taking the time to develop these skills, you will be able to build better relationships at home and at work.]]>

God carries on creative work through human beings. Human beings serve as instrument of transformation of thoughts and ideas from the spiritual state to the physical state. Our mind which is an aspect of the brain mechanism is a creative device which enables us to relate to spiritual as well as physical existence.

Our role in the creative process involves receiving thoughts and ideas which emanate from God into our mind. By means of our mental and physical powers we are able to transform these thoughts and ideas into physical reality. So the human being receives from the spiritual and transforms into the physical. Our function in the creative process can be likened to the function of a television set. The pictures we see on the screen do not originate from the television set. The television set receives signals that are transmitted from a television station and then transforms these signals into observable pictures on the television screen. In the case of the creative process, thinking enables us to tune in to and receive thoughts, ideas and concepts from God. These thoughts, ideas and concepts we are then able to transform into physical (objective) reality by means of our mental and physical powers. To illustrate this process let us consider how a building comes into existence. By thinking, an architect receives ideas and concepts of the design of a building in his mind. By means of his mental and physical abilities he transfers his mental pictures of the design of this building to drawing on paper. A builder, by interpreting this drawing, is able to construct the building thereby bringing it into existence. And so what has come from God as thoughts has eventually become a physical reality.

Evidently, the human being is a co-worker with God in the creative process.

Your Gift of Creative Ability:

Human beings are endowed with creative ability. We have the capacity to do things requiring intelligence. Our creative ability is in the form of mental and physical powers. Since our physical abilities are obvious, I shall focus attention on human mental powers. Observation of human beings reveals that human mind exhibits certain capabilities. These are:

Drive:

This is the mental power by which a person presses forward or pushes on with a task. It is the capacity of the mind to sustain effort and get things done.

Power of Self Control:

This is the mental power by which a person can direct his thoughts and actions and exercise control over his feelings and impulses.

Power of Feeling:

This is the power of the mind by which a person is able to perceive, experience or become conscious of physical and spiritual phenomena through feeling.

Intelligence:

This is the mental power we have of perceiving, learning, understanding and knowing.

There are three aspects to human intelligence and these are:

Intellect: This is the power of the mind to reason.

Memory: This is the power of keeping facts in the conscious mind and being able to call them back at will.

Knowledge: The actual knowledge a person has is an aspect of his intelligence.

All these mental powers are present in every normal human being. These mental powers working together determine a person’s mental qualities and characteristics. Our mental powers together with our physical abilities constitute our creative ability.

The extent, degree or level to which human beings are gifted with each of these different mental powers varies from individual to individual. No two individuals match each other in the extent of endowment of every one of these mental powers. By this I mean that no two individuals have the same measure of drive, the same degree of self-control and the same depth and strength of power of feeling as well as have the same measure of intellect, the same strength of memory and the same amount of knowledge. However, people may be classed in broad groupings of level of endowment of particular mental powers. For example, depending on the extent to which a person is gifted intellectually, such a person may be described in any one of the following ways: as having low intellectual ability, as having average intellectual ability, as having high intellectual ability or as having exceptional intellectual ability.

Because human beings are endowed with the different mental powers to different levels, degrees or extent, you find that each human being has distinct mental qualities and characteristics. Each individual has his or her special way of thinking and doing things. This explains why human beings think and behave differently from one another. The fact that human beings are mentally different explains why people have different interests and talents and so take to different vocations, occupations or professions. It also accounts for the fact that people occupy different positions in life. Our physical abilities also play a part in determining our choice of occupation or career and contribute to determining our place in life.

There are two important things to note about our creative ability. One is the fact that human ability is limited. No person can accomplish all things and no person knows everything. Our capability is finite. The other thing to note is that our mental powers grow stronger as we use them until they develop to full potential. This is similar to what happens when we use our muscles vigorously or exercise them.

Let me restate at this point that the human mind is not some sort of soul or spirit in our body. God is the only spirit in existence. Our mind is only a mechanism of the brain which enables us to relate to spiritual as well as physical existence. Our mind is a creative device for transforming thoughts, ideas and concepts from the spiritual realm into physical reality.

You are God’s Instrument of Service:

Often when people can no longer handle a situation on their own, when they reach the limit of their powers or resources, they reach out to God. They pray and ask God for help. However, people do not expect that God will appear physically to them to render the help they need. Instead they approach other human beings through whom they hope and expect that God will solve their problem.

For the purpose of illustration, consider a situation where someone’s child suddenly falls ill. The child’s condition is so bad that this person prays to God to help restore the health of his child. After asking God for help, he will not wait for God to appear with a stethoscope and a bag of medicines. He will instead take his sick child to hospital to see a doctor. He expects that God will answer his prayers and restore the health of his child through the doctor.

Let us consider another situation. Someone desires to embark on a business venture but has difficulty in obtaining the necessary funds to finance it. If he is the kind f person who believes in God he will probably pray and ask God for help. After praying he will not sit back and expect that money will fall from the skies. Neither will he go in search of God’s bank in order to obtain the needed funds. Instead he will go to financial institutions run by human beings or approach people whom he thinks can satisfy his need. In effect, God serves human needs through people. From this we can deduce the following moral principle: that when others reach the limit of their ability or resources and reach out to a person, it is that person’s duty to do the best he can to satisfy their need. The individual is, in reality, God’s instrument of service to humanity.

Let us take a look at this issue from another angle. The value of a thing lies in its usefulness to human beings. A can of sand is worthless because it does not satisfy any human need. No one will offer money in exchange for it. On the other hand, a can of orange juice has value because it is useful to human beings. The individual is endowed with creative ability. The worth of this creative ability lies in its usefulness to people. The worth of the individual lies in the use of his creative ability to satisfy human needs.

It is therefore evident that service to humanity is the purpose of the life of a human being. It is also clear that service to humanity is what gives worth to a human being’s life.

The human being can be seen as a worker in God’s Creative Establishment whose duty is to serve people. When we serve others we receive consideration for our services. When we receive payment for our services we are then able to meet our own needs. Our first duty is to satisfy others after which we can think of ourselves. ‘Others first’ is the golden rule for creative and successful living.

God has endowed us with creative ability, not for us to use for selfish ends but for us to use for service to humanity.

It is important to note that we do not serve the needs of others only when they can offer consideration or repay us. When we help, support or assist others we are actually contributing to God’s creative work through them. This, in effect, means that we are co-operating with or working with God. God is infinitely good. One way or another, He will ensure that we receive adequate consideration for whatever help, assistance or support we give to others.

This article was excerpted from Spiritual Science, a book by Emmanuel Emezie. Information about the book and how to order it is available at this url: http://www.spiritualsciencesociety.org/publications.html]]>

Consider the Bible account of the creation of Man and his fall from grace, (the Bible, Genesis 2:7-24 3:1-24).

We are told that God created Adam and Eve and established them in the Garden of Eden where He had made adequate provisions for their needs. All went well until the serpent came along and deceived them into disobeying God. The act of disobedience in the Garden of Eden caused Adam and Eve to lose favour with God. Christians believe that the sinfulness of Adam and Eve subsequently passed on to all generations of mankind. That, in their thinking, is responsible for mankind’s fall from grace and the human proneness to commit sin. The Christian concept of original sin which is that sinfulness is a part of mankind’s nature is founded on this Bible story.

Now let us examine this Bible account rationally. It has been scientifically established that mankind has inhabited the earth for over a million years. The coming into existence of the human being is, therefore, a primeval event that is prehistoric and immemorial. Surely, any account of this even cannot be anything but an invention. Moreover, the incidents related in this Bible story are inconsistent with natural phenomena. God does not talk. Snakes do not have the faculty of speech. Knowledge is not gained by eating the fruit of a tree, neither is it possible to attain everlasting life in this way. This tale, by all indications, is only a Jewish fable. It is not a true account of real events. However, Christianity accepts it as a factual historical event and has built its all-important concept of original sin on it. Clearly, this is a case of fiction being passed for fact.

Let us go on to consider the concepts of heaven and hell as propagated by the Christian faith. Heaven, we are told, is the home of God where people who do God’s will on earth will spend eternity with Him in bliss. Hell, on the other hand, is the place of punishment where those who lived sinful lives will suffer everlasting torment after death.

Now let us think seriously about these issues. God does not have physical substance, God is spirit. Because spirit has no physical limitations, God is everywhere at all times. In other words, God has infinite presence. Since God is infinite in expanse, so to speak, it does not make sense to say that God has a particular place of residence. The concept of home is a physical concept which has no application in the spiritual realm. Reason clearly shows that heaven, in actual fact, does not exist.

And to the question of hell. Forgiveness is a cardinal moral principle of the Christian faith. Jesus Christ in his teachings stated unequivocally that we should always forgive others no matter how many times they offend us. If one desires to commune with God, one must have a forgiving heart, he taught. How then can we think of God as being so unforgiving as to establish a place of everlasting torment for those who go against His will. The very idea of hell implies that God is wicked and unchristian. It is, without doubt, a misconception to associate God who is infinitely good with such a cruel idea. In reality, heaven and hell are misconceptions that have passed for spiritual facts.

Let us now consider superstition in the Bible. The gospel tells us about a father who brought his epileptic son to Jesus Christ for healing, (Luke 9:37-43). The account says that Jesus rebuked the demon in the boy. It came out of him and the boy was instantly cured.

Let us examine this report in the light of our knowledge of medical science. Epilepsy is a nervous disease and we know from medical science that demons are not responsible for illness. There is actually no proof that evil spirits exist. The belief in their existence and that they are responsible for ailments is irrational. Such belief amounts to superstition.

And now to the matter of falsehood in the Bible. We shall examine the Bible account of the conception of Jesus Christ by the Holy Ghost and the reports of his resurrection and ascension.

Knowledge is usually brought to mankind through people of high intelligence. In some cases such people are gifted with extra-ordinary mental or creative 666bilities. People like this, referred to as men of genius, very often take us to new levels in knowledge of the universe. One such person was the mathematical genius, Albert Einstein, who brought us exciting new knowledge of the physical universe. Jesus Christ belonged to this class of people. He was a luminary who made revolutionary contributions to spiritual knowledge. Unfortunately, the Jewish educated class of his time did not understand or accept him. That probably explains why he chose his disciples from amongst the uneducated, fishermen and the like. These followers, who obviously were not men of high intelligence, did not recognize him for what he was which was simply a man of extra-ordinary mental abilities and l! earning. His remarkable accomplishments were, rather, what made profound impressions on them. It is reported that he healed all manner of sickness, raised the dead, and fed thousands of people with few loaves and pieces of fish. We are told that he walked on water, waves became still at his command and a fig tree that he cursed withered. They (his followers) were awed by these incidents and began to perceive him as a deity. Jesus Christ noticed this idolization and at the end of one of his sermons said to his followers and the crowd present, (Luke 6: 46-49).

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and not do what I tell you? Every one who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like, he is like a man building a house, who dug deep, and laid the foundation upon rock and when the flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it has been well built. But he who hears and does not do them is ike a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation against which the stream broke, and immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great”.

Jesus Christ was clearly not happy that he was being idolized while little attention was paid to his message. He was just a genius who had used his extra-ordinary talent to gain profound spiritual knowledge. His primary concern was to impart this knowledge to others. His desire was for people to listen, learn and practice what he was teaching them.

After his death, however, his followers who did not fully understand him or his work declared him deity. To lend credence to this claim, they presented us with the story of his conception by the Holy Ghost and the tales of his resurrection and ascension.

Let us now subject these things to logical reasoning. Spirit does not have physical substance. A thing that does not have physical substance cannot be divided, reproduced, split or apportioned into two or more separate and different units. Spirit, therefore, cannot exist in the form of separate and individual entities. This means that you cannot have one spirit called, say, Michael, separate and different from another spirit called, say, Gabriel, separate and different from another one called, say, Satan, etc. Existence in this form is a physical phenomenon that does not occur in the spiritual realm. It logically follows that there can be only one spirit in existence. That spirit is God. Clearly, no Holy Ghost exists and Mary the mother of Jesus was not made pregnant by any such spirit.

Let me add at this point that the human being does not have a spirit or soul. Our mind, which creates the illusion of a spirit in our body, is actually a mechanism of the brain by which we perceive and experience spiritual as well as physical phenomena.

Logical reasoning has shown that there can be only one spirit in existence and also that heaven does not exist. Going by these conclusions, the tales of the resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ do not make sense. If there can be only one spirit in existence, what then did Jesus Christ become after he resurrected? If heaven does not exist, where then did he ascend to? The claims of a resurrection and an ascension are inconsistent with logically established spiritual realities.

The Bible account of the conception of Jesus Christ by the Holy Ghost and the reports of his resurrection and ascension are definitely falsehood.

The occurrence of untruths, conjectures and fallacies in current spiritual teachings is not peculiar to the Christian faith. I have found a high incidence of this flaw in other spiritual works and teachings that I have come in contact with. I am, however, hopeful that my spiritual works will help clarify matters and also enable mankind to gain full spiritual enlightenment.

My spiritual knowledge was obtained by study and experimentation with spiritual facts and principles, by observation of spiritual phenomena, and by logical reasoning. It qualifies for classification as science. The knowledge I bring I therefore present as a branch of learning I have called Spiritual Science. The aim and scope of Spiritual Science are to provide such spiritual knowledge of existence as will enable mankind gain complete happiness and success in life.

God has endowed me with extra-ordinary mental abilities. It is by His grace that I have gained full spiritual knowledge of existence. I recognize my moral obligation to share this knowledge with others and help others gain full spiritual enlightenment. I have a duty to work for the spiritual enlightentment of mankind. It is my fervent hope that you will maintain an open mind and try to comprehend the spiritual knowledge which I bring to you. Being fully enlightened spiritually will enable you to live your life the right way. When you live the right way you will undoubtedly find complete joy and success in life. May the grace of the Almighty God be with you always.

This article was excerpted from Spiritual Science, a book by Emmanuel Emezie. Information about the book and how to order it is available at this url: http://www.spiritualsciencesociety.org/publications.html]]>